
An interview with Claire
Self care means something different for everyone. But what happens when the typical self care routine isn't enough? What if it means a complete relocation? This week Claire Lee shares her story about moving from Korea to the United States and how it shaped her as a person.
Ariel Zachow
Hello, and welcome to Compassion As My Compass, a weekly podcast all about living yoga off the mat. I’m your host, Ariel Aachow. Each week we cover a new topic and discuss what small, easily implemented things you can do to follow a yogi lifestyle after your physical practice has ended. Self care is something that we talked a lot about on this show. It’s really important. And what I’m hoping you see as you listen to these episodes and these different shows is that self care can be very different for every person. So it’s really a matter of finding the self care routine that works for you. And I think a lot of what comes to mind when we talk about self care is, I guess, smaller, like normal day to day things- sitting and reading a book, going for a walk, having a glass of wine, meditating, things like that. But I think that it’s important to be said that sometimes your self care routine needs to be much, much bigger than that. It can be scary to think of it on a much grander scale, but this week we’re going to talk to Claire, and she’s going to tell us about how she took her self care routine on a much grander scale by moving countries and coming to the United States at a young age. Welcome, Claire, thank you so much for joining me today. Why don’t we just dive right in and you can tell us your story.
Claire Lee
Okay, so I’m going to go ahead and start from coming to United States in the age of 14. So I came to US at 14 and I went straight to boarding school. And I stayed in boarding school for about like five years until I graduated high school. And coming here was totally hundred percent my decision. And I was excited and nervous at the same time.
Ariel Zachow
Where did you come from?
Claire Lee
Oh, I came from South Korea. And I mainly, like the main reason I came was because all my cousins were already residing and US or Canada. And I was always interested when I was young, and then after seeing them or going to summer school with them, I realized this is so much fun, like just compared to like, what I was living in Korea. I’m not like saying anything about Korea, it’s just like, the classroom style, the way they teach, and everything just seems a little better. And so I was like, Yeah, I want to go, and we got we prepared. And my parents said that sounds like a great idea. So we went. And then as soon as I got there, I mean, the life wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. The language barrier, I still, I was fine with English, it was just like, the way you learn English from the books versus the way you actually talk is a little different. And just like living on your own was completely like, my- knowing other students was a little like a new experience to me. So going back to self care, while those five years was a difficult and at the same time, like realizing who I am and what kind of person I am in general. And I think I’m able to really like keep myself and able to really understand and discover myself, I guess was like having a plan. Like for me, I’ll always have goals and plans for my life in the future so I can be on track without having anyone to tell me what to do or how to live your life. And yeah, so I will always just make plans to become better person in life. And then once I came to college, I still did the same thing. And I was just challenging myself doing new things. And now I’m at place where I want to do something that I I love doing. I’m doing blogging, I’m doing YouTube, and I have a blogging agency where I specialize in Facebook ads and stuff like that. So it really came out really good and a success to the point where I enjoy what I’m doing. And everyone’s happy to.
Ariel Zachow
So when you first moved over here at 14, did you come by yourself without your parents?
Claire Lee
Yes.
Ariel Zachow
Wow. So um, that’s, that’s just- it’s so incredible. I think a lot of people don’t have the ability to make really any decisions such a young age. How did you do it?
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Claire Lee
So pretty much I was just really I mean for like, I was just grown really independent. And I was always like, really independent person even when I was young. I always had like this dream that I wanted to pursue, I guess. And then I felt like after going to summer camps and summer schools in the US and Canada and stuff like that, I realized that, well, I can do this. I feel I can be more creative and express myself. That’s what I thought I can. At first I was scared suggesting the fact that going overseas, like can I go? I thought my parents will say no, but instantly, they were like ‘Yes, sure. If you want to go you can go.’ And I was like, ‘oh, okay. That sounds good.’ And then, I mean, once I came here, the like, as I said, like the first few years were a little difficult to adjust. But everyone was really nice in that school. And then the school also have other international students. We have like more than like, 23 different countries have students in the school. It was a really diverse school. So yeah, I learned so many things. It was honestly, I think that was like a perfect way to grow up, with so many diverse population and people there. And just learning about different cultures and different food and all that. Yeah, it was it was really a great growing process now that that I think back.
Ariel Zachow
How would you say that it it changed you? Such a massive decision in such a big move, how has that shaped who you are as a person today?
Claire Lee
So pretty much, the first thing I would say is like, I become more mature. Let’s say if I was just staying in my parents house, or like staying at home, staying with them, I might have become a totally different adult. But I think with this, I’ve got more mature and when I come up with situations that I think I will never come up with, I feel like I have more handling ability with those. Even like packing and unpacking or like all that like I used to do that alone or like from the help with my friends. I mean, my dorm parents will help to but they were just so many people, so they cannot help everyone. And so maturity. And then I also think independence, that that’s for sure. And then I think you become more ambitious since it’s yourself and have to just be more controllable, controllable of what you do. Throughout my whole years, even in college, even now, like I don’t have family here, I don’t have my parents and my sister here. So I guess like when you feel like you want to fall back, it’s not like there’s a place to fall back. You always have to be going like, you can’t just be like, ‘Oh, I’m gonna fall back by my parents thinking, you know, they have some sort of solution.’ That’s not the case. It’s like, you have to find your own version, you have to keep pushing yourself, you have to be that strong person.
Ariel Zachow
It sounds like it forces independence because even at such a young age where you’re not quite ready necessarily to be making decisions for yourself as an adult, you had to because there was no other option.
Claire Lee
Correct. Yeah. And, and I like that. I like that, though. I mean, like that experience was really powerful for me. And I think it’s definitely changed me. I can even see myself changing throughout these years, which was a really positive change. Like, like for the more patients that was a big change, like this war, I didn’t really have a lot of patience. And now I do have patients in a gateway. And just like socializing with people, understanding other people really made the difference as well.
Ariel Zachow
If you could go back and change something about how you did that situation, would you? Are you happy with how everything went?
Claire Lee
I am actually happy with how everything went. I mean, if I felt like if I had to, like if I had to go back and change, I guess I’ll be more positive, because there were some times where it was like really hard during the high school years, and I wasn’t a happy kid. I wasn’t always happy. But like, if I go back, I’ll see situations in more like a positive mindset.
Ariel Zachow
The idea of this is really self care on a massive scale. And I’m doing something similar-ish, where this winter, I’ll be spending six months in Greece. I’m very excited, but it’s also, as you know, very scary. It’s a really new thing. So say somebody’s listening and they know that the typical self care routine of yoga and meditation and bubble baths and all of that doesn’t work for them- What is your recommendation? Where they should start? Maybe they need to make a big move, like you’ve done and I’m planning to do- how do you recommend they sort of work through all of that to get prepared?
Claire Lee
Like you said, like going to another country? Okay, so well, first, wherever you’re going, like now that I’m grown, I’ll search about the country or like the area you’re going because obviously such a new place. And since the whole new place might be different, make sure you can put yourself in there. Let’s say like, the city they offer these these type of things, see if those things work for you. For example, let’s say like me, working (in the) US, like that was not a big option. You have to go through getting a social security card, like getting other things. So you might wanna find those alternate steps that works for you in your situation as a visitor or as a foreigner, you know, and just keep going through the process, like don’t compare yourself to anyone else. Just do your thing until you reach the goal, step by step. And I think that really helps. When you’re like going to a new country or new city or moving to a new place.
Ariel Zachow
Did you ever have moments where you regretted everything or felt that you made a huge mistake?
Claire Lee
Actually it happened when I was in like sophomore, junior year between that. Actually, it was funny, I didn’t share with anyone from my parents. But I actually did not want to go to college at the time. I was just like, I want to do something else. I just wasn’t interested in college in general. And then I talked to my parents and my uncle, actually, because he used to live in New York, and I used to visit there a lot. And then he told me all these all the fun things about college and all that. And then after that I got interested in college, and I decided to go but I think it was like the best decision I’ve ever made. Ever since that regret I got, I was just like regretting this whole situation about like how life in US is harder than I thought and all that. Like so many difficulties and everything. And so yeah. Other than that, everything went pretty good.
Ariel Zachow
Do you have advice for somebody who’s maybe in a similar situation? Who’s having that regret? And they’re freaking out?
Claire Lee
Well, first of all, like, as for college, I actually loved college. And at the time, like whenever the college admission comes out, everyone is rooting for the dream colleges. And the results come out, and everyone- it’s like comparing on their social media, “Yay, I got into this/I got into that!” and then sometimes, like, there might be judgments where if people don’t know that college, or they never heard of it, they might say something like, ‘oh, like, why are you going to the college or something like that’, like mine was that kind of case. Because I was at the time the school I was in is located in West Virginia, so the place I was going to many of the international students didn’t know about it. So they’re like, ‘Oh, where’s that like, that’s not Ivy League school or something like that.’ But I didn’t really care, like I was already really excited to go, because I got a scholarship and all that. So what the advice I want to give them is just don’t compare you to other people. And like if you if you have something that you’re interested in, just pursue that goal. And just find a way to do step by step.
Ariel Zachow
It sounds like you have a really good ability to focus on yourself and your own goals and where you’re going. But that’s it’s a little unusual, in the best possible way. It’s a little unusual, because I think this is a very competitive society. How do you stay in that place? Because so many people will check Instagram or Facebook and see ‘well, where am I versus where she is? And she’s doing better than me?’ How do you keep your your sites focused on what you’re doing so that you can accomplish these goals without being bogged down by the opinions of other people?
“Don’t compare you to other people. And like if you if you have something that you’re interested in, just pursue that goal. And just find a way to do step by step.”
Claire Lee
Well, that’s actually good question. But I think it’s the way you think. So like, what made me a better person, or like, how the way I think is, I think like first is invented by my parents. So I think the way my parents helped me grow is they didn’t force- I’m from Asian parents, right, like Asian country, but like, didn’t force anything for me to do. They didn’t have the pressure on me. So like, they kind of like freed me out and express myself. And that just made me focus more on myself. And as for us for social media, I’m pretty active on social media as well. But last year, for example, I was really into social media, and then realized, like, it’s not doing any good. I’m not feeling happy or like it, I just felt like some days I would think ‘Oh, this is a waste of time. I can do something way more productive than the invest in social media.’ That’s what I felt like directly while I was doing the social media and other stuff. So that one really made me change, like, maybe I need to spend more time doing other things productive. And the third one is, I realized that people who don’t use social media actually make a lot of money as well. Like people who don’t have social media accounts, people who are not invested in social media can also make a lot of money. And after realizing that I was like, ‘yeah, this is not the only path to go, even though I’m in the creative side,’ you know what I’m saying. And the fourth one will be I love reading books. When I was young, I wasn’t even interested in books at all. But as I was growing, I love like reading self growth books, or business books to keep teaching myself and learning new things since I am done with college. And I feel like people should like force themselves to keep learning and learning after college. Whether it’s something that you’re interested in or something that you want to develop yourself and like, you found a weakness in yourself and you want to improve that, like I’m doing right now. You have to keep reading books in order for you to stay on track and not look at other people. Like crazy photos of photo on Instagram be like, ‘Oh, I want to be like that,’ you know. I mean appreciate they have happy lives and all, but they also have their struggles. And we don’t know that. So just think as in, I guess just thinking like, those positive ways to have an ultimate goal. So like, whenever you feel like you’re going sideways, you can be like, ‘Oh, this is my goal is to be on track again.’
Ariel Zachow
Sure. Like self correction along the way, right?
Claire Lee
Yeah.
Ariel Zachow
So how do you keep the confidence and the drive to continue to pursue your passion or your self care on this grander scale? So you’ve made the big move, and now you’re in a place that makes you happier, but what about for for work? Because I think what we do, or a lot of people do with blogging, and podcasting and all these things- it’s very non traditional. And I think that makes a lot of people super uncomfortable. So how do you keep the confidence to pursue what ultimately is going to make you happy?
Claire Lee
Well, I guess I’ll see the possibility first, like possibility and passion is the two things really matter. And like, of course effort, but I feel like some like sometimes, like even blogging or podcasts, but you never know what will happen with it. And like there’s no certain because you’re making out of it. So there’s no person who’s going to gather a company that’s going to be like, this is the way you’re going right. So yeah, like possibility definitely matters. Meaning, if you first start that, like you need to have a plan, or a goal or anything that you’re going to keep going with. So I normally start out something in a plan for like a year or six months, and see if this is going to work out. But I’m gonna see it in a realistic way, I’m not gonna see it in a imaginable or something that I want, I want to see this in a realistic way where it’s like, is this really gonna work? Or is this really gonna help me survive with money in the future. And if I that’s not the case, even though I want to do this, then I’m not going to pursue it. Because that might be a waste of time. And if I think there’s a possibility, then I’ll go with it. But I’ll try to find like minded people, or people who are already successful in business, or death field, I’ll like talk to them or contact them to gather information as much as possible. So to make this happen, is what I take, like the two, like two paths I take.
Ariel Zachow
What are some of the biggest difficulties you face living this, this very bold, very passionate life?
Claire Lee
Um, I guess, like the main thing was just like a status difficulty. I mean, it’s resolved now. But status was difficult as in like, given visa, or something like that. It has very limited abilities just for everything, living or even like getting a driver’s license or renewing something. All of that is harder. And I guess like the visa is the main problem if you’re going to a new place, because they will limit a lot of things you can do. So if you’re thinking that you want to stay here for a long time, you definitely want to work on hat first before doing anything else.
Ariel Zachow
Well, and I can say for Greece, at least, and I think this is true in a lot of places- Don’t mess around with your visa. Don’t wing it. And I know that the US is really picky, so it’s much stricter here in the US than it is in other places. But don’t don’t wing it. Look into some research.
Claire Lee
I mean, those visa problems like once you get delayed or like slacked off like, wait another like few months and does not take forever, so
Ariel Zachow
And you don’t want to get blacklisted.
Claire Lee
Exactly, exactly. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. That’s so fun, though. I mean, I hope you really have fun. Like, that sounds, that sounds like a really great, like an opportunity and just, you know, yeah, travel around, see new things.
Ariel Zachow
Yeah, that’s definitely something that I feel like I’m lacking in my life is exposure to different cultures. Where I live now, it’s very, I mean, it’s Italian, but it’s very American, Italian. But, but that’s it, which is great, but it sounds like one of the better parts of your experience was learning about different places that you wouldn’t have otherwise, if you weren’t exposed to the people from those places.
Claire Lee
Right. It was there was a really great experience. I mean, I guess it will be like really invaluable experience. Yeah. When I go pack, when I like think about like those times, it always just makes me like feeling like feeling some type of way. You know? Yeah, like when I like put myself in those times is not the best. Some days are worse, some days are not the best. But as an adult Claire, like going back, and then seeing myself is definitely like a perfect growth.
Ariel Zachow
Are there any last little bits you want to add before we wrap up?
Claire Lee
I guess I throughout this whole, I always focus on happiness. Like just in general. It’s, it might sound easy, but it’s not that easy. Unless you’re actually like, making yourself happy. And then even though like when you’re feeling not good, or when you feel I’m not fit in this world type of you’re feeling like, like you’re not the best, just try to think in a positive way, like in your like something that you’re doing good. And just grasp on that and then go to another level of challenge and keep going.
Ariel Zachow
Yeah. All right. Well, thank you for sharing your story. This was really interesting and a little different than we usually do. But I am hoping that it will spark some ideas for what a self care routine can look like for somebody on a grander scale and a much bigger scale. If they’re not particularly satisfied with the things that they’re doing now or they feel maybe like something is missing, hopefully this has planted the seed and you know, you don’t have to move countries to make a doable self care routine. Maybe it’s not that big for you, but maybe it’s traveling more often or maybe it’s you know, whatever it is to you. Hopefully this will help you come up with a couple of ideas. And if you want to follow Claire on social media you want to connect with her. You can find her on Facebook at Claire Bear Blogs. You can find her on Instagram @clairebearyblogs_94 or you can head over to her website at www.clairebearblogs.com. Never hesitate to reach out to her or myself. You can find me on instagram @compassion.as.my.compass or head over to my website at www.compassionasmycompass.com Send me an email send me a DM on Instagram, whatever floats your boat. But I love the conversation that I have with my listeners. If you or somebody you know would like to guest on the show, please reach out to me, let me know. Or if there are any topics that you would like covered that I have not yet also send me an email. I’m always looking for new ideas. They thank you as always for your time this week. I hope you enjoyed this show and I will see you next Thursday.